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Today I want to share with you my birth story! I’ve had 2 natural births OUTside the hospital but before those, I actually gave birth in the hospital for my first baby. This was 8 years ago so I might leave out some details… but hopefully you’ll get the gist. It’s not a positive story, necessarily, but it also wasn’t super traumatic like so many other women experience.
This experience taught me a lot and I look back on it fondly when I think of our first day with our son. Having said that, I can’t always tell this story without becoming angry😠. So it is what it is.
pregnancy.
I wanted a homebirth from the start. My husband wasn’t on board yet, and I didn’t know where to look to find a homebirth midwife in my area (a cpm, certified profession midwife). So I ended up with a CNM (certified nurse midwife) that practiced in the hospital.
She unfortunately had to follow different guidelines in the hospital so she recommended induction at 41 weeks (not necessary). I decided to try natural induction techniques before then to avoid a medical induction. So at 40 weeks and 5 days, My last try was evening primose oil. It might have been a coincidence but I ended up in labor after I inserted them vaginally and layed on the couch.
The timing was perfect because my sister, mom, and dad all came into town that night. As soon as they got there, things picked up and it was real labor. Around midnight that night, I decided it was time to go to the hospital. The pain was intense.
Knowing now what labor feels like, I know that that pain wasn’t normal. It was way too intense in such early labor. My theory is that I was severely dehydrated and scared. I’ll get to that soon.
hospital.
We arrived at the hospital after an excruciating 15 minute drive. A grumpy nurse checked me and declared I’m *only* a 2. (I now know not to get checked).
I was discouraged and really scared, thinking the pain was this bad at a 2? yikes. She offered an epidural saying I could just sleep til morning and have that baby, pain free. When my husband tried to say “she wants to have a natural birth” She yelled at him because he, “wasn’t the one giving birth”.
So I opted to walk the halls of the hospital in hopes I would dilate more and they’d give me a room and keep me at the hospital. Labor was so difficult at this point, for me. Without the emotional and physical support I needed during this time, it just felt like too much. I couldn’t physically walk around the halls so I instead tried to find comfortable ways to lay on the couches and floor. I remember going into the bathroom at one point and looking at myself in the mirror and saying “This HAS to be it”.
So we walked back to that grumpy nurse and got checked again. She declared “You’re STILL a 2!” grrr…. to make things worse, she scolded me saying a nurse saw that I “wasn’t even TRYING to walk around”
home again.
So we drove home. I was so discouraged. I got right into a hot bath and tried SO hard to relax. I only lasted about an hour and I demanded to be taken back to the hospital. Another awful 15 minute drive…
hospital again.
This time, my husband wheeled me in and I came in screaming, “Give me an epidural!, You better keep me this time!, I’m really in labor!” haha
A sweet Midwife on call came in and assured me I was in active labor, I was at 3 centimetres (not that it matters), and she offered me the jacuzzi tub to labor in. It felt great, but I had already decided I wanted an epidural, so after a little while, I apologized to the midwife and let her know I was done trying to go natural, I wanted help.
We got put in a room and for 4 hours they poked me 10 different times to try to get an IV started before they could do an epidural. This is where I now suspect I was so severely dehydrated. And apparently contractions are way more painful if you are. So that explains a lot.
I laid on my back for all 4 hours while they bruised me up and down my arms. I was hysterical and screaming in pain. At one point a nurse came in and said “SHHHHHHH” (not helpful). Overall, I felt like everyone was mad that I was vocalizing my experience….
Finally, after 4 hours, the anesthesiologist answered his phone and came in. Gave me the iv and epidural. sweet relief.
One important thing I want to point out is that when I was FINALLY able to sit up for the epidural injection, after being flat on my back for 4 hours, The instant I sat up, the contraction felt HALF as intense. It felt bearable.
Right after I get the epidural, a nurse checks me and says “oh, you’re already an 8” So we call my family to hurry over.
About 30 minutes to an hour later, I push a few times and out pops the little guy.
John Eli Jensen Moreno
My perfect baby boy.
More pictures at the hospital (click here)
Thanks for reading. I learned so much from this experience. It led me to my next 2 homebirths and pushed me towards so much research and education.
I wasn’t treated well during birth. But sadly this isn’t EVEN scratching the surface of the abuse that happens to women during birth.
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Thanks.
Peace.
