written in 2016 and transferred here in 2019
Last week I talked about what it feels like to be depressed. I have Bipolar Disorder so I feel depressed sometimes and other times I have Manic Episodes. This week I’ll be sharing what my experience with being manic is like.
I thought this ted talk video was really accurate. I love how she describes manic as wearing a high heel on one foot.
Some symptoms of Mania are:
- Increased energy
- Inflated self esteem
- More talkative and feeling pressure to keep talking
- Racing thoughts
- Lots of new ideas and goals
I definitely experience all of these things! In the last few years since I’ve known I have bipolar disorder, I’ve been able to see these symptoms in myself. In the past I’ve thought of them as weird quirks of my personality but its nice to know that it’s caused by Bipolar disorder.
When I’m Manic, I am very outgoing.
I feel more confident than normal (which can be good or bad). I am the one dancing like a fool or meeting and talking to every person I see. I tell jokes, which are rarely funny, and I never feel the least bit awkward. I always start a new project when I’m Manic, and usually only keep up with it for a few days until the good Manic phase turns… not good manic. This is when my thoughts start to race too much. What starts out as a bunch of good, realistic ideas, turns into an overwhelming mess of far-fetched ideas. I can’t slow down my ideas or the need to work on projects.
I usually don’t feel like I need as much sleep during this time but I have to be careful to get enough or all of my symptoms are exaggerated the next day. One of the most frustrating symptoms I always have is feeling the urge and need to keep talking. It’s really strange. I talk to my husband a lot anyway, but on these days, I cannot stop. I think it’s my way of trying to cope with all the thoughts I’m experiencing. It’s so overwhelming that I just feel the need to sort it all out.
It’s always interesting to hear peoples opinion about the kind of person I am. Some will say I’m shy and quiet, others know I’m mouthy and stubborn and I’m sure some people think I’m just weird. It just depends on when they first met me, what stage of my disorder I was in at the time, and how much time they’ve spent with me.
My Manic Episodes last between 1 to 3 weeks.
The first few days or week is always great. It feels great to have confidence and feel like I have friends. I am so productive and creative. This is the time I serve people a lot and always want to help everyone. I feel invincible, like I can save the world and my plans and ideas always revolve around helping people.
Lately, I’ve been allowing myself to start the new projects I think of and I’m not too hard on myself when I end up failing. I’m lucky to have a husband that keeps me from doing any wild things that are just toooo extreme! (remember the living in a tent with our two kids idea, honey?)
So sometimes things get crazy before my manic episode ends. I usually have at least one panic attack during this time because I cannot think straight and things get so overwhelming. Towards the end, I end up just waiting for it all to pass and I start looking forward to the depression again.
I’ve always been told that some of the most successful people in History have been a little crazy and possibly Bipolar. It makes sense to me! Sometimes you have to have a crazy out-of-the-box idea and have the confidence to go for it, in order to be successful. I must be destined to do something amazing and that’s why I have this stupid disorder! 😉
Thanks for reading. Do you know anyone will bipolar disorder? Let me know in the comments!
Peace.
since writing this 3 years ago, I’ve found a new lifestyle that almost completely cured my mental illness. I’ll link that post here when it’s done. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss it!
